Army of Darkness and other films
I recently watched Suicide Kings, a 1997 Christopher Walken film, and the more recent films The Human Stain and Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. I watched the latter two back to back for constrast or something. Follow up a stupid, mindless stoner flick with a pretentious, serious artsy film.
Here are my really short reviews and this time I'm adding stupid little star ratings!
"Harold..." had a few funny moments, but overall it's much like Half Baked (ie. probably only really funny to stoners). 1 1/2 stars (out of 4).
Suicide Kings was a good, darkly comical film with another fine performance by Walken. Denis Leary was hilarious as a mob enforcer. Don't ask him about the stingray boots. The only bad part was a somewhat flawed ending. 3 stars.
The Human Stain - Starring Anthony Hopkins and Nicole Kidman, this drama predictably had some great acting, but was clearly miscast. Kidman looks far too stunning to pull off a role as a depressed, down and out woman working three part time jobs to get by. Hopkins is too pale to be playing an unusually fair skinned man from a black family who passes himself off as Jewish. I could be wrong, but I think the only way the character could be as pale as Hopkins is if he was an albino. Boobies? Very briefly. Don't bother renting this film just to see Nicole Kidman's boobs, you sad little man. 2 stars.
Finally, pop in Army of Darkness and grab your adult beverages. It's drinking game time!
1. Every time Ash fires his shot gun, drink.
2. Every time Ash fires up his chainsaw, drink.
3. Every time Ash says one of his great lines (audience judges), drink. This includes but may not be limited to: a) Hail to the king, baby. b) First you want to kill me, then you want to kiss me. Blow. c) Gimme some sugar, baby. d) Yo, she bitch! Let's go. e) Come get some. f) Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot.
4. Every time Ash suffers bodily harm, drink.
5. Every time Ash makes arrogant or chauvanistic remarks to people, drink.
6. Take 3 drinks when Ash finally finishes off Bad Ash.
7. Down the whole drink when Ash gets home.
8. Treat yourself to another drink if you watch the alternate ending.
Here are my really short reviews and this time I'm adding stupid little star ratings!
"Harold..." had a few funny moments, but overall it's much like Half Baked (ie. probably only really funny to stoners). 1 1/2 stars (out of 4).
Suicide Kings was a good, darkly comical film with another fine performance by Walken. Denis Leary was hilarious as a mob enforcer. Don't ask him about the stingray boots. The only bad part was a somewhat flawed ending. 3 stars.
The Human Stain - Starring Anthony Hopkins and Nicole Kidman, this drama predictably had some great acting, but was clearly miscast. Kidman looks far too stunning to pull off a role as a depressed, down and out woman working three part time jobs to get by. Hopkins is too pale to be playing an unusually fair skinned man from a black family who passes himself off as Jewish. I could be wrong, but I think the only way the character could be as pale as Hopkins is if he was an albino. Boobies? Very briefly. Don't bother renting this film just to see Nicole Kidman's boobs, you sad little man. 2 stars.
Finally, pop in Army of Darkness and grab your adult beverages. It's drinking game time!
1. Every time Ash fires his shot gun, drink.
2. Every time Ash fires up his chainsaw, drink.
3. Every time Ash says one of his great lines (audience judges), drink. This includes but may not be limited to: a) Hail to the king, baby. b) First you want to kill me, then you want to kiss me. Blow. c) Gimme some sugar, baby. d) Yo, she bitch! Let's go. e) Come get some. f) Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot.
4. Every time Ash suffers bodily harm, drink.
5. Every time Ash makes arrogant or chauvanistic remarks to people, drink.
6. Take 3 drinks when Ash finally finishes off Bad Ash.
7. Down the whole drink when Ash gets home.
8. Treat yourself to another drink if you watch the alternate ending.
posted by Patrick at
2:37 PM
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