First, I really want to hurt the people who write newspaper headlines. News came out recently that Paul McCartney is separating from his wife. Every farking time there's a story about any former member of the Beatles, a bunch of papers make headlines out of Beatles song titles. It's not original. It's not cute. These writers need a cockpunch.

Next, I've been watching the TV show "24" on dvd lately. Until a few months ago I'd never seen a single episode. I started at the beginning and am currently on season 4. Here are a few things I've learned from watching "24":

1. Jack Bauer is running out of time. Just tell him what he wants to know.
2. Torture is very effective and should be used much more often. Everyone breaks, except Jack Bauer.
3. No matter how far fetched his hunch may seem, Jack Bauer is always right. If you disagree with him, then you’re wrong.
4. No good deed will go unpunished. Even if Jack Bauer miraculously and repeatedly saves millions of people from certain death, he will not be rewarded. He’ll be fired.
5. No matter how many times Jack Bauer saves the world, his bosses will consider him a renegade who must be stopped so that the investigation can proceed by the book.
6. All bosses are idiots, especially Jack Bauer’s bosses.
7. The most dangerous occupation in the world is being that guy who’s between Jack Bauer and what he needs to know.
8. The second most dangerous occupation in the world is being a family member or love interest of Jack Bauer. Kidnapping or worse is pretty much guaranteed.
9. Jack Bauer is the best marksman in the world.
10. You’d think by now that the last place a terrorist would target is Los Angeles. Jack Bauer is there.