Today's title reminds me of C & C Music Factory
. You know you loved them in the early '90s. Most of these stories popped up last week, but I'm lazy so here we go:
A man who attacked a policeman with a poodle
has been found incompetent to stand trial. Yes, I said "attacked a policeman with a poodle". First the man rammed a police car with his own vehicle. He then got out of his car wielding a poodle on a leash and approached the office, swinging the poodle at the cop. Apparently poodles are much like morning stars (spiked ball and chain). The dog is okay. The man is apparently insane. Big surprise there...
Those of you who watched the Super Bowl may have seen the McD's commercial with the "Honest Abe" french fry. Well, the fry was put up for auction
with proceeds going to the Ronald McDonald House. It fetched over $50,000. For a french fry, you ask? Nope! The winning bid will receive a fake replica of the fry. Hold on while I get my fifty grand to buy a fake french fry...
Having solved all over problems, Virginia's state legislature passed a bill banning "low slung" jeans.
Wearing your jeans low including the exposure of boxers is now punishable by a fifty dollar fine.
In our latest example of how screwed up and corrupt our corporate executive jobs are in America, Carol Fiorina, now ex-CEO of Hewlett Packard, is getting $21 million for doing a lousy job
and getting fired (they're not calling it getting fired but rather asked to leave... ie. you're fired). Nice golden parachute, isn't it? With $21 million they could give this incompetent executive a huge payout for going away, or they could pay 420 annual salaries of $50,000 each. If you have stock in HP, tell them to shove it up their asses and dump their stock. Only in the corrupt world of American corporate executives can sucking at your job and getting forced out be like winning the lottery.
Controversial University of Colorado professor Ward Churchill
, in the news lately for among other idiotic comments comparing the victims of 9-11 to Nazis, apparently has a few other problems.
Like building part of his career on his Native American Heritage... According to a geneological study by the Rocky Mountain News, Dr. Churchill doesn't HAVE any Native American ancestors in his family. Additionaly, in one of his books Chruchill claims "that a deadly smallpox outbreak among Native Americans in the 19th century was started by the U.S. Army. According to Lama University Assistant professor Thomas Brown, none of the sources Churchill cites said anything of the kind." Nice.
In other news a Cleveland woman is suing a seven year old boy
. The woman was rollerblading on a bike and pedestrian path when the little boy got in her way. She tripped over his bike tire and broke her leg. The case has been thrown out of two courts already, but she has instructed her lawyer to fight it all the way to the Supreme Court. Later the Cleveland woman was spotted beating up a five year old young girl and kicking babies.
Finally, it's interesting to note that the Parents Television Council
, previously mentioned here because they're responsible for generating well over 90% of all television indecency complaints received by the FTC, has a section on their website where you can view graphic descriptions and some video footage of the raunchiest things on television in the last week. So..... I guess you can just go there to get your highlights of the week! There's certainly nothing to keep kids away from it.