Italian judge likes to empower terrorists

I'd like a better link than a commentator's column for this news, but I just read the following story and was shocked at how stupid this judge is. To quote O'Reilly:

"Recently five Muslims were arrested and charged with recruiting homicide bombers inside Italy to be sent to Iraq. This week, those charges were dismissed by Judge Clementina Forleo, who said the men were not terrorists, they were guerrillas, therefore had committed no crime."

This assclown judge has made her political affiliations clear. She supports the Iraqi resistance. International jihadists, who go abroad to recruit as these men were doing, are guilty of many of the worst acts of terrorism in our times, but this judge won't identify them as the despicable terrorists assholes that they are. Anywhere else they would undoubtedly be terrorists, but Ms. Forleo calls them guerillas because they're trying to kill Americans in Iraq. We wouldn't want to get in the way of that, now would we? I hope Italy has the balls to fire this bitch.

Moreover, if this judge is right, you can't recruit terrorists in Italy, but as long as you call yourselves something else, it's perfectly alright. By her own words, recruiting "guerillas" in Italy is fine. May I also suggest insurgents, revolutionaries, freedom fighters, mujahideen, and ass monkies? Has anyone ever heard of a terrorist thinking of themselves as a terrorist? "Sure our favorite tactic is suicide car bombing crowds of innocent people, but we're not terrorists! We're freedom fighters!"

In other news, having steadfastly dodged stories that might actually be newsworthy, many journalists took the time to whine about the choice of heavy coat and footwear worn by Dick Cheney at the Auchwitz ceremony. No link (deliberately), find it yourself if you actually care. Then go back to watching "Access Hollywood" or something.

another sad day in Iraq

We've lost 36 US soldiers in Iraq today, mostly due to a transport helicopter that crashed in a sandstorm and killed all 31 on board. Yet we're stuck in Iraq for now despite the cost in dollars and lives. To abruptly leave the country would be a disastrous move. Remember how much the withdrawal of US troops from Somalia after 18 were killed emboldened bin Laden. It would be like that only exponentially worse. I suppose we also have a bit of the pottery barn motivation to stay. You break it, you buy it. Though Iraq was already broken in that they were ruled by a brutal tyrant who killed hundreds of thousands of his own people. We can't give in to the terrorists though. When someone says these people hate democracy, it's not just right wing propaganda. It's the truth from the lips of the terrorists. Al qaeda has already declared elections to be an evil thing. Now in Iraq they are targeting polling places and warning people to stay away from the polls or suffer the consequences. They claim the elections are illegitimate, but of course no elections would be considered legitimate by these worthless bastards. They don't want elections. They want power for themselves. We're talking about a group of power hungry clerics (often self-proclaimed) and their hordes of misled, ignorant, and/or brainwashed followers.

In other news, Ted Turner gets the Moron of the Day award for comparing Fox News to Adolf Hitler. Ted... you're an idiot. Even most participates in the stupidity that is internet flame boards know that most any argument is utterly ruined by comparing the other side to Hitler. Fox News has a right wing bias and is mostly favorable toward Bush. So according to Ted, that's kind of like a dictator who started a world war and massacred millions and millions of people. Sigh...

foreheads - the new billboard

20 year old Andrew Fischer of Nebraska is getting $37,375 to advertise a snoring remedy on his forehead for just one month. It sounds insane, but no doubt the price was driven up by the media coverage. The existence of the auction was widely publicized in news outlets before the auction was even over. He's also the first person to sell off advertising that way.

With Fischer's jackpot, expect many, many more people to line up with hair cut short or pulled back from their foreheads, eager for some corporate sponsorship. Most won't get 37 grand though. I expect the next deal to go for ten grand or so and the price to drop hard from there. In time your forehead will be worth less than a hundred bucks a month to advertisers, but some poor college students will still do it. Of course those who are inspired by Fischer could still turn this into a great cash windfall. Here's how:

1) Fischer was from Omaha, Nebraska and got 37 grand. So if you live in say, New York City, and ride the subway every day during rush hour, think what your forehead advertising space could be worth! Advertisers pay for eyeballs and the New Yorker clearly has an advantage over Fischer. Average foreheads in Nebraska will drop to 50 bucks a month soon, but in New York they'll still command $500.

2) Some of us are, shall we say, well endowed in the forehead area. That means more advertising space! In the future of forehead advertising, square inches will be important. The larger the ad possible, the higher the premium. Bald people will really be in luck. The forehead gifted will also be able to host a couple ads at once and bald people will look like NASCARs.

3) Why stop at foreheads? We'll sell corporate logos on various other body parts such as the back of the hands. Depending on where you live, you may have the opportunity to sell all sorts of advertising space. Imagine what a hot beach bunny in South Beach will earn. Think of what the seller of say, any product that appeals to men, would pay for a thong wearing beach bunny's butt cheeks!

Some people will say that advertising products on your own body is selling off any shred of dignity you might have had. So what? People by the millions already sell their dignity in a host of different ways, often for just a chance to win money, not even a guaranteed payout (/wave Fear Factor).

My new company: Body Banners, Inc.

Now for something completely different. In a previous entry I linked the site Youhavebadtasteinmusic. And now, here's another example of what happens when creative dorks have a video camera. Feel like wasting a few more minutes of your life? Of course you do! Especially if you've actually read this far... so clickie already!

PTO, a tool of satan

No entries since Jan 10th... wow, I suck. I've been sick lately. That's pretty fun. This time it was sick enough to keep me at home sometimes, probably a touch of the flu. I blame the lack of flu shots this year. Well, that and the sick coworkers who've come to work lately. My company, like so many now, has PTO (paid time off) instead of vacation days and sick days. That means in effect that our sick days come out of time we'd rather use for vacation. So we have a strong incentive to drag our ailing asses in to work if we can stand up long enough to get here. It doesn't matter if we're so sick we stare mindlessly at our computer monitor for 8 hours. We're here so it counts! Of course it also gives us the opportunity to share our sickness with our coworkers. My coworkers do it. I do it. It's very stupid. Give us actual sick days instead of assuming we're dishonest bastards who will abuse them, and maybe we won't come into work with all our nasty illnesses and make other people sick.

In other news, an exciting e-mail from a Dr. Madiba Themba got past my bulk mail filter. Madiba wanted to inform me of the exciting opportunity he has for me to help him move 26 million dollars out of a South African bank account and into mine! I don't know why this "Chief Auditor ABSA BANK" uses a hotmail account, but all I have to do is send him my account information and I'll be rich! Woohoo! I just know this will work out so much better than it did with that guy from Nigeria last year...

cheerleaders and Abu Ghraib

Today we had an applicant for the title of Dumbest Lawyer in the World. David Womack, defense attorney for Pfc. Charles Graner Jr. of Abu Ghraib prison scandal infamy, played down the naked prisoner pyramid photos by saying, ""Don't cheerleaders all over America make pyramids everyday?"

Because this...


is almost the same as this...

Just ask Guy Womack! He's an attorney so he must know WTF he's talking about, right?!

Yeah.... I'm assuming Womack was a court appointed attorney. I can't imagine he gets many private clients with such brilliant opening statements. If I were Graner, I'd already be planning my appeal based on incompetent counsel.

Sexy Beast (film review)

I know it's a few years old, but remembering that the film Sexy Beast got very strong reviews, I watched it tonight (85% on the tomatometer). Don't make the same mistake I did. This movie sucks. It sucks with a power that few suck ass films manage to approach, while somehow garnering high reviews from most critics. I can watch and enjoy some rather slow paced films, even some arthouse films, but the pacing of this film is glacial despite only being 85 minutes long. It may only be 85 minutes, but it feels like far longer. Most of the characters appear to be on heavy tranquilizers throughout the movie. They are boring, lifeless individuals. Ben Kingsley's character is at least more energetic, but not much more interesting. He's just an asshole who rants a lot and calls people "cunts". "Cunt", by the way, is by far the most popular word in the film. Dumb sidenote: near the end one of the women uses the more unusual cockney rhyming slang version "berk" (berk = berkshire hunt = cunt).

Most of the critics said Kingley's performance was superb, jaw-dropping, oscar worthy, etc. Kingsley is an excellent actor, but I'd have to disagree on this one. His character was fairly boring and 1 dimensional (not that that's Kingsley's fault that the script sucked), which was simply a minor improvement over the rest of the utterly unlikeable, soporific characters.

I want that 85 minutes of my life back.

Bushism

Short entry today...
I don't know how I missed this one during the campaigns, but click here to watch a video of George W Bush at a campaign rally say the following: "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." :-D Here's a nice list of Bushisms. Aren't politicians fun? Hey, we have to laugh at our politicians, whether they're on the left, right, or whatever. It's either that or cry, scream in impotent rage, and smash our heads through plate glass windows again adn again and again... I'll go with laughing, thanks.

edit: new, improved (or not) blog with comments permitted by anyone and everyone. Flame on! (ok, actually I'll just delete troll posts in the unlikely event any actually read this blog...)

welcome to 2005

So it's a new year. I spent new year's eve with my friend Vince in Pittsburgh, fun time had by all. It was a good road trip... spent the night before in Bowling Green with one of my eternal college student friends. The new car was great. Someone pass me a grasshopper (drink I'd never had before... creme de menthe, creme de cocoa, and milk).



Today's advice - Don't leave Coke in the trunk of your car when the temperature hits -10 degrees F.