Top 5 movies of 2004

I realized I haven't seen nearly as many movies this year as I have in years past, so my movies to draw from for a top 5 list are more limited. It looks like I need to hit the video store a few more times. I thought I had a great one with Return of the King, but then I saw it was released in December of 2003. So here's what I've come up with so far --

Top 5 Movies for 2004
1. Spiderman 2 -- How often do you see a sequel that's better than the original? It's just a great action film, maybe the best conversion of a comic book to a movie ever.
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind -- already mentioned in this blog recently
3. Hero -- simply beautiful, if this one doesn't win some oscars for cinematography, something is wrong.
4. House of Flying Daggers -- See #3. These two films by the same director will likely compete with each other for those cinematography oscars.
5. Garden State or Sideways (tie)

gobble, gobble

Citizens Against Government Waste has named the top turkey of the year, a corporation that continues in the outstanding business ethics of Worldcom, Enron, Tyco, and others. So check it out and see how this company is wasting government money (ie. your money if you're a US taxpayer).

In other turkey related news, I've still got leftovers from Thanksgiving. You mean my family having an 18 lb. bird and only 4 people around for dinner last Thursday is a bit excessive? Oops.

eternal sunshine

Okay, I know I just suggested a movie a few days ago, and 21 Grams is good and well worth watching, but watch a different film first. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a great film. It's not perfect, but it's strikingly original and leads up to a superb conclusion. There are layers of meaning here, a main message and enough depths that different people will take different things from the film. Even if you don't like "art" films (usually I don't), it's definitely worth seeing.

And happy turkey day... well... yesterday. It's after 2am now.

Aren't double standards fun?

Apparently a couple of writers from "Sex and the City" have published a book advising women about men called He's Just Not That Into You. It sounds like there's some good common sense advice there, but that's not what I want to rant about. No, it's author Liz Tuccillo's assertation that a woman should never ask a guy out. Finally the very rare woman is going against that stupid double standard in recent years and having the courage to ask a guy out instead of vice-versa all the time, and along comes someone like Ms. Tucillo with her highly publicized advice to never, ever do it.

Sure Liz, you want the guy to always be the one to take all the risk in breaking the ice. It's so much easier that way. The man is the one who has to take that risk of rejection and ask the woman out, obviously as it should be, in your opinion. Fortunately for women quite a few guys realize that society's standard requires them to be the one to ask, so they do it. It's not really "fair", but it's the way things are so we have to deal with it. Too bad some people actively reinforce it.

In other news, a California school allegedly prevented a teacher from passing out material with any references at all to God or Christianity on them, including excerpts from the Declaration of Independence and other work of the Founding Fathers. Wow... just... wow... what the hell are they thinking?

Need some motivation?

I don't know how long this link will be useful, but USAToday has a great flash video feature up right now called Ultimate Fighter. Scroll down on the page and you'll see it. The story is about Kyle Maynard, an 18 year old quadruple congenital amputee. The kid is just amazing. He lives in a regular dormitory at his college with a roommate like any other freshman, competes on the wrestling team, trains in judo, and wants to help motivate people by being a professional public speaker. As if his life itself isn't inspirational enough already. Take a look.

She ho'ed ya, man!

Now for something completely different....

Is there anything more impersonal at times than grinding on the dance floor? Guys out there, ever danced with a girl who never even looks at you? All you ever see is her back for a couple songs and then she's gone. Oh, the players will claim, "noooo... no girl would do that to me. They all check me out, blah blah blah", but let's be honest. If you dance at the clubs much, it's happened. One of my college buddies would describe it so eloquently as "She ho'ed ya, man! She ho'ed ya!"

Ever wonder if you tagged out for another guy if she'd even notice? You know, you want another beer so you get some guy next to you and sub him in on her ass. If she's drunk enough ya might even be able to sub in a post or something. You make your way to the bar, get your beer, make a slow circuit of the club, check out the ladies, come back... maybe tag back in. She never realizes you were gone. Now wouldn't that make ya feel special? :)

Maybe the club is where some women try to get revenge and treat us like objects. :P

21 grams

Superb film... go to the video store and rent 21 Grams... it's one of those odd films that's been chronologically jumbled, but the director does so very effectively. It's a thought provoking movie about life and death that's well worth your time.

I also watched "Van Helsing" this weekend. I want those 2 hours of my life back, thanks. :p

violence good, sex bad!

Since absurd overreactions to Janet Jackson's boob are so outdated now, some of my fellow Americans have found another "shockingly inappropriate" scene to bitch about. This time there wasn't so much as a nipple exposed. We got to see.... a bare back! Oh my God! Call Jerry Falwell! Bring in the moral majority! The minds of America are being poisoned by a Monday Night Football opening featuring Nicollette Sheridan's bare back! Yes, the very idea, presented jokingly in the MNF opening, that a sexy blonde woman seduces star Eagles player Terrell Owens into skipping the game, is too hot for our virgin minds and must be stopped!

Now the NFL, the Philadelphia Eagles, and ABC are all furiously apologizing for this horrible incident sure to turn our children into perverted sex fiends. They even got Owens to apologize... sort of. Oddly he seems to think the controversy is about him rather than the simulated nudity, but that's not the point.

So once again part of this country goes insane at the hint of sex. Juxtaposing the Puritanical opposition to anything sexual, our society's loving acceptance of violence was highlighted oh so effectively by this controversial opening scene being followed by three hours of 300 pound men attempting to beat one another senseless while trying to get a ball across a line.

Blowing up the ambulance

Radical Islamic terrorists, besides committing some of the most vile, repugnant acts in humanity, have to be among the stupidest people on the planet. How else does one explain the killing of Margaret Hassan of the CARE organization? This woman spent most of her 59 years of life selflessly helping the Iraqi people. She lived there for 30 years with her husband and in recent years headed up the CARE relief organization in Iraq. This woman was anti-war and anti-sanctions, wanting only to help the people of Iraq. So what does she get in thanks from some Iraqi insurgents for her lifetime of service? Death. She was on your side, you fucking idiots! It's like you have a close friend who's dying and when the ambulance arrives to save him, you blow it up. Oh wait, you're probably insane enough to quite literally do that too.

We are in fact talking about terrorist bastards who are insane enough to drive a hardcore relief organization like Doctors Without Borders out of Afghanistan and Iraq. This aid organization stayed through some of Africa's bloodiest conflicts and in the past has been known for staying places where many other aid organizations have left. They are apolitical and only there to help people! Leave it to Islamic fundamentalists to drive even them out of the country through deliberate targeting of aid workers.

I was wrong above though, terrorists, Margaret Hassan wasn't on your side. She was on the side of the Iraqi people. You pathetic scum are not. You're on the side of power hungry fundamentalist so-called clerics who promise you a bevy of beautiful virgins when you "martyr" yourself for their cause. If you had half a brain you'd tell those unspeakably disgusting and phony "holy" men to go blow themselves all to hell if they're so eager to find martyrs. Not that they'll do it. They'd rather pursue power for themselves and convince disaffected young men, and in some cases women now too, to do the dying.

RIP Margarent Hassan

'A' for Effort!

So there's a college in S.C. that bases 60% of your grades during your freshman year on showing up to class and participating. You can fail every exam and still pass the course. You can read about it here. They've even fired 2 professors who refused to use the new grading policy.

It's just like my performance review for my first year on the job. It went something like this: Good job, junior! You showed up for work this year and participated! We don't care too much that you hardly produced any work products and what little you did produce sucked ass and had to be reworked by a competent employee! At least you tried and that's what counts! Here's your promotion!

Yeah...

Wake up, morons. The purpose of grades is to measure what you've learned, what you've achieved, not what you've tried to learn. They were never intended to be a direct measure of effort and lose all meaning when they are used as such. Boot the touchy-feely idiots out who came up with this hare-brained policy and hire some real educators, unless you just like your college being a laughingstock.

In other news, most of us probably saw that Hardees has come out with a 1,420 calorie hamburger. They're calling it the "Fat Ass Deluxe", or something...

FCC stupidity

ABC is planning to broadcast "Saving Private Ryan" without editting for the 3rd time tonight. Yet some affiliates have decided not to show it for fear of the FCC (you know, the people who charged $550,000 for Janet Jackson's breast snafu). What really strikes me as stupid though is that some broadcasters contacted the FCC to ask whether or not there would be a problem with "Saving Private Ryan". The FCC's response:

Janice Wise, spokeswoman for the FCC's enforcement bureau, said they had received calls from broadcasters asking if the film would run afoul of the rules. Wise said the commission was barred from making a prebroadcast decision "because that would be censorship." "If we get a complaint, we'll act on it," she said. (source - Reuters)

So.... a broadcaster logically wants to know if a particular program will get them fined and the FCC's response is, "We can't tell you because that would be censorship and we can't censor you, but we might fine you afterward. Then again, we might not."

What the hell? Who comes up with this shit? That's kind of like if a speed limit wasn't posteds on the interstate and I called the state police, asked them if going 70 mph would be okay or would I get a ticket, and they say, "We can't tell you. It might be speeding. It might not." Then when I decided to try it, they gave me a ticket. Is the FCC completely retarded?

blech

I'm sick. Not really sick, just sick enough to grumble about it. So go read Something Awful and stuff. It's a lot funnier than listening to sick people grumble. I think half the people in my office have a cold, so once again, work makes me sick. Damn you, work.

Falluja

The US/Iraqi assault on Falluja has begun. What I can't quite figure out is how many insurgents they expect to actually stay in the city. Keep in mind the insurgents have been fighting a guerilla terror campaign where they bomb a target, often civilians, and then melt back into the general populace. It's very hard to tell insurgents from civilians. Also they've estimated that up to half of Falluja's 300,000 people have already fled the city. Now if you were a terrorist bastard who likes to disappear into the civilian population between attacks, would you be staying in Falluja, knowing for weeks that the US military is preparing to assault the city? Oh, some diehards will, but I'd certainly bet that many of them have already left and will continue to leave in the coming days, looking exactly the same as all the other civilians fleeing the city.

the self righteous left?

When did the left wing in America start competing with the religious right for who could be the most self righteous? Both before and after the election, it hasn't stopped. They say Bush is a moron. Anyone who votes for him is an idiot. The "red states" are so ignorant, etc, etc. Today some jackass at the popular Slate.com published this column. To summarize the article, nearly 60 million people voted for Bush because they're ignorant rednecks. The writer reaches all the way back to the 1860s to paint residents of "red states" as hopelessly ignorant hotheads. If such a column was rare, it could be chalked up as one dumbass spouting off, but it's not very rare at all right now. You either believe what I do and vote for my candidate, or you're a hopelessly ignorant and stupid sheep.

"Shut up, ignorant Bush supporter!" some might respond to me. Well sorry to disappoint you, but I didn't vote for Bush. I voted for Kerry as I struggled to pick the lesser of two evils. But some of Kerry's supporters continue to disgust me. When they rant about how ignorant 60 million people are who voted for Bush, how the "red states" are sheep-like religious whackos, etc., they're the ones who end up looking ignorant. This country is polarized and such foolish attitudes only make it worse. Should those on the left continue to take such elitist views toward those on the right, the results of this election will repeat themselves again and again.

As Dr. Neil Browne, a professor I had in college, pointed out one day in class when referring to any of the really big controversial issues around which there is so much disagreement for so long... remember that there are some very intelligent people out there who completely disagree with you. It is a fool who thinks that anyone who doesn't support his candidate must be stupid. Unless of course his candidate's only opponent is Al Sharpton. :P

bad music

You have bad taste in music.

how many licks?

I'm late on this one since the course must have started for the fall semester, but Syracuse U. has a course called "Hip-Hop Eshu: Queen Bitch101 -- The Life and Times of Lil' Kim". Per the course description, "The Syracuse course requires students to read Kim's song lyrics as literary texts and analyze her iconography in videos and performances." Lil'Kim's lyrics as literary texts.... did I read that right? *blink* Yeah, that's what the course description from the esteemed Syracuse U. says. Here I thought Lil'Kim was easily summed up as "all tasteless sex talk, all the time". Little did I know she was a literary figure worthy of careful analysis!

So I hurried to find some Lil'Kim lyrics to expand my literary horizons. I just have to post some here. Ponder the subtle but deep meaning behind her words. Consider writing an essay analyzing this verse in a post modern critique style. Expect to see Penguin Classics and others publish her works for decades to come so that future generations of students may learn from them!

"Dan my nigga from Down South
Used to like me to spank him and cum in his mouth
And Tony he was Italian (Uh-huh)And he didn't give a fuck (Uh-huh)
That's what I liked about him
He ate my pussy from dark till the mornin
Called his girl up and told her we was bonin
Puerto Rican papi, used to be a Deacon
But now he be sucking me off on the weekend
And this black dude I called King Kong
He had a big ass dick and a hurricane tongue

So, how many licks does it take till you get to the center of the?(Cause I've got to know)"

Divided We Stand

We need a divided Representative and Executive government, where the Dems hold one branch and the GOP the other. Many people complain that nothing gets done in such a situation, but history says otherwise, says that some of our best bills have been passed in a divided government. The division forces politicians to be more bipartisan. They have to work together to get things done and the public is the winner.

Unfortunately in recent years the American electorate has become more polarized. Both major parties, if not controlled by, are at least very heavily influenced by some of their most extreme members. The moderates seem to be far too absent in powerful positions. I'd love to see John McCain or Colin Powell run in 2008 though because of his age I don't expect that McCain will.

The truth is so often somewhere between the poles. Don't trust extremists. Question everything.

(For a good defense of divided government, check Oct 2004 of the Atlantic Monthly, an article called "Divided We Stand".)

a little bump and grind for the kids

Some high school kids are angry because their school banned grinding at the upcoming dance. They argue that a girl gyrating her ass against a guy's crotch is today's version of the Twist and isn't sexual at all. I couldn't agree more! There was absolutely nothing sexual about that girl in the tight little vinyl nurse's outfit grinding with me last Saturday. We were just into Chubby Checker! Yeah....

Of course the real news today is the elections. But you can read about that anywhere.

So in more odd news, a woman who faired poorly on 'The Apprentice 2' lost her real life job as well. Her firm was unhappy with her performance on the show, so they canned her. wtf... apparently she did tell her teammates on camera that "the reason they lost the episode's restaurant opening task was because of 'those two old Jewish fat ladies. Really. They were like the pinnacle of the New York jaded old bags.'" Some people considered the remarks antisemitic. Nevermind that the girl has Jewish half siblings and her family has many Jewish friends who apparently think she meant no harm at all. Anyway, it's there in the article linked.
So I guess you shouldn't go on a reality TV show because your psychotic employers may FIRE YOU if you don't make a good impression while your every word and action for days on end is on camera and editted for the juicy parts.